Mayana @Mayana@dragonscave.space

just as a follow up to this, different languages or regional spellings are fine, i'm specifically talking about things like "tw*tter" or "n00dz"

I mean do we really have to rehash the "saying a work is bigoted in some way doesn't mean the author is an irredeemably bad person who must be thrown to the wolves, it means they live in a structurally violent society just like the rest of us and might have unexamined biases that creep into their work" talk? It's true that toxic social environments CAN make it feel like one is throwing a creator to the wolves by making any such critique, but the remedy to that is pushing back against the kind of toxicity that denies learning or growth, not denying that legitimate criticism can exist.

I am not, of course, saying that people of a dominant identity in a given situation shouldn't have opinions on marginalization--solidarity isn't achieved by a simple "no comment." And it can be genuinely confusing for someone who hasn't experienced a specific bigotry and wants to support their marginalized comrades, when those comrades don't agree among themselves! And this happens all the time, since marginalized people are not a monolith. So what to do? Here are some ideas:

First, if there's ambiguity--which is most of the time, in art--err on the side of listening to the intracommunity decision over making a conclusion yourself. In most cases the discussions of bigotry in art by the people who have lived experience with that bigotry are more thought-provoking and informative than a definitive conclusion that it is/is not bigoted, anyway.

Second, if there's a degree of consensus in the marginalized group, based on clear principles and facts, that a work is actively harmful, focus on amplifying those voices over making a conclusion for yourself. Do not pass off their opinions as your own, because as a person in a dominant identity you are likelier to be remembered and listened to. Serve your marginalized comrades, don't make them serve you.

Third, be EXTREMELY careful about saying "I don't think this work is bigoted" for a bigotry you do not experience. Unless it's made clear by all the marginalized people commenting on the issue, the ones who are actually affected by the bigotry in question, that all the critiques alleging bigotry are bad-faith smears--which is a heck of an allegation, very rarely proven--I would never make such a dismissive conclusion as the privileged person in the situation.

If there is reasonable intracommunity disagreement on the issue, listen and abstain from making a public conclusion. Again, the discussion itself is far more illuminating than a definitive conclusion anyway, and listening is how you learn to better support your comrades.

At all times, maintain openness to the possibility that there might be bigotry in the work that you are not aware of because it doesn't touch you, and that the marginalized people making the critique are doing so in good faith. Basically, be respectful. It is not respectful to assume that all the marginalized people making a critique about their own marginalization are arguing in bad faith.

Like, I very much suspect Tater has RSD or some form of social anxiety, and just now, after being told by his dad (justifiably) to be more careful not to accidentally hit people, he came upset to me and just curled in my lap a while looking sad with tears in his eyes. I held Tater and patted him, sympathizing with his upset while not blaming or undermining my partner, and kid was fine after a while. If he didn't feel safe to come to a parent when he was upset, it would be so easy for these big emotions to manifest in other, much less healthy ways.

It's so possible, easy in fact, to both acknowledge a lesson and the negative emotional reactions to it--neither had to be invalidated or argued away, he just needed a little time and comfort! And he does in fact still learn, I've watched him actually practice being more careful because he understands it's important without having his actions and emotions micromanaged! It's so wholesome to watch and makes me so angry that I wasn't, and still am not, given this level of trust and respect.