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About me, health issues 

I am a quiet person who is easy to get along with, but has difficulty making friends due to trust issues rooted in trauma. So if I seem distant to you despite being friendly, please don't think you've done something wrong, or that I'm a snob or anything like that...it's just hard for me to open up to anyone. But I am happy to listen to people and help if I can, so if you need an ear, feel free to poke me.

I have multiple physical and psychological issues, such as CFS/ME, myopathy (type unclear), anxiety, and depression. I become exhausted easily, and rarely go out. So the internet is my window to the world.

I also really think I'm autistic, but I can't get a doctor to confirm this or not...so I just stick with calling myself ND, because I know that much for sure.

I'm a creative spirit, usually I'm coloring lineart, writing stories or characters for TTRPGs, or painting Warhammer figures and similar if the urge strikes when I have the energy.

For games, lately I've been playing mainly visual novels, sims, strategy games and RPGs since those take the least amount of spoons, but I'm interested in just about anything - RPGs and other games with those elements are my favorite if I had to pick.

Other than that, I'm married to my nesting partner (who is also poly), but I'm not looking to add anyone right now, please don't ask or try to befriend me if that's your endgame, I'm not interested.

ventpost 

It's vital especially now to get help with daily life things because of the heat. All we want is a hand with things that are hard for us. It's not that much to ask, is it? Especially if we pay for your time?

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ventpost 

And again, the help we hired this time didn't come through for us...no call or message even, they just didn't show up at the scheduled time. When my partner called them half an hour later, they convinced them that they remembered wrong. They said they were already on their way, and they live close by, but they took nearly 20 minutes to come here.

Yeah, no...not buying it.

Why does everyone treat working for us like some kind of joke? :dragon_confused:

Addons for cross platform programs that require Windows-only bits to run upset me...especially when they don't work in Wine either. :dragon_confused:

Health stuff 

Me with "active" malignant hyperthermia, ME/CFS and this fucking heat wave: :dragon_yell:

brb gonna go stuff myself in the freezer

I actually felt like doing things! :dragon_happy: I was playing System Shock 2 with my partner and also played Monster Hunter Rise for a while since Sunbreak is out. It's really exhausting playing action games like that, but I still love them. That reminds me, I should try Dead Cells since it got an accessibility update...never tried it before since it looked like it would drain me.

current events 

also I'm silent on the 20kg grab bag of fuckery that is this week for mental health reasons, though I'll always support anyone who has the spoons to fight :dragon_heart:

yet again creating characters for roleplays I will never be able to join

still fun to make them though, its soothing :dragon_blanket:

i seriously thought today was sunday wtf

on a bit more cheerful note happy midsummer if you celebrate~ :dragon_mlem:

ventpost, finances 

Really stressed...in addition to earlier stuff my other half hasn't been paid for 2 months and I'm not being paid either because my benefits ended and i'm still waiting for new ones to be approved...feels like the government is hoping we will get sick of their bullshit and give up...

I feel like I should ask my parents for money to get by until things get sorted but I feel so incredibly guilty even thinking about it. I know they would help me, I just have this huge mental block about asking for help for anything, from anyone, no matter how bad things are...I usually only do it if I feel like I can't keep going on my own.

I've also been playing the last case of The Great Ace Attorney and Gina is making me have all the feels because I can relate to her so much, maybe I should play something else right now...

angry post, some allcaps words 

I'm sorry, you're too BUSY to work today, person we hired to help us with things around the house and shop with because we are disabled? And you haven't worked the past few weeks either for one reason or another? And you decided to tell us this half an hour before you were scheduled to be here? Sounds like we need to hire someone else then...the nerve of some people... :dragon_confused:

And this is the third fucking person that is like this in a row! ARGH!! :dragon_yell:

We only ask them to come once a week, too!

I swear the only dependable people are family and our therapists, everyone else just see us as something they can take advange of... :dragon_sad:

cat i love you but please remove your bum from the AC buttons

computer stuff, crypto mention 

My video card seems to be in its final days, now it's stuttering and shutting off quickly even with my tweaks. At least Sims 4 is potato-friendly so I can use the one on the motherboard until I have money get a new one, probably the Radeon 6500 XT. It's the best I could possibly afford at the moment, no way in hell I can afford to fully upgrade from a 1080 right now. People like to dismiss this card as bad and say it shouldn't exist, but they miss the point - it's designed to look like garbage to crypto miners so it can be affordable while also being decent to game on.

video games 

In other news Sims 4 has eaten my soul entirely after getting burned out on FFXIV again.

medical stuff, CFS 

seems like my diagnosis changed from CFS to postviral fatigue syndrome...means nothing to me but maybe the idiots at the benefit office will take me a bit more seriously

There's a bat just vibing outside my bedroom window and it's awesome :ms_bat:

For anyone who owns these systems, here's some info on backing things up before their eShops ride off into the sunset.

nintendolife.com/guides/how-to

FFXIV 

Me enjoying the story: :dragon_happy: :dragon_hearteyes: :dragon_melt:

Me realizing I have to do a dungeon with 7 other people to progress it: :dragon_flushed: :dragon_grimace: :dragon_yell:

So at least at a few points, 8p Trials are not yet fully supported with the solo system...oof. But it's coming, and works with one encounter just fine. Please go faster, or may The Twelve bless me with a Free Company that isn't awful to do it with...still looking! :dragon_mlem:

Switching to Summoner might help ease my anxiety a bit, since post-rework it's probably the best way for me to engage in harder content without stressing over messing up too much, from what I hear. So I'm trying it out, we will see. :dragon_owo:

food waste 

I'm becoming more sensitive to the thought of wasting food, to the point where even if I can't finish something because I feel sick, I feel guilty...that and I also get really irritated when I see videos of people using food (especially expensive looking stuff) just for a prank or something then throwing it out.

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